I apologize for the lack of updates recently. I have had a lot on my mind but I haven't really felt like talking about it. I spend so much time thinking about things that I find I often come full circle in my attitudes. All too often I say something here one day, think about it all through the next, and end up thinking nearly the opposite on the third. It's confusing.

A thought ocurred to me, though. Instead of fighting or railing against so many of the aspects of my personality I should accept them and learn to work around or with them. I suspect I would be happier that way. As much as I'd love to fix the things that I perceive as being wrong with me I begin to suspect that I might not be able to. I am also nagged by little doubts that make me wonder whether or not that's really what I do want. I dunno.

...

One of the problems in my last relationship was my feelings about her family. It was not that they were not wonderful people. Quite the contrary. They were and are fantastic. I just, for whatever reason, couldn't handle them. And she, understandably, couldn't handle that. In the end, I suppose, the families aren't that big a deal... until you start talking about marriage. She and I weren't and the relationship didn't last long enough for it to become a deal-breaker but... I still wonder. What do you do in that situation? Can there be any resolution? I don't know why I brought it up. It certainly doesn't matter now. I suppose I just wanted to have it out there.

...

I have become ASTONISHINGLY anti-social of late. I'm not sure what's up. I just don't feel like coping with people right now. I still love spending time with my friends, of course... I just don't want to go out. I've been this way for a while and I can't say it's getting any better. Riddle me that.

...

On the upside, I feel as together mentally as I have in a long time. That's a great relief. My words come to you from an unassailable fortress of calm... or something like that. Actually, I've just always wanted to say something silly like that.

Take care and have fun you guys. Until nex-time.

Love,
-Loop